Here’s a question that hits everybody in the Midwest right in the frostbitten soul:
Why aren’t windshield wipers mounted like…two inches higher on the windshield?
Just two inches.
Not a revolution in engineering.
Not a redesign from the ground up.
Just…lift the damn things a little closer to the warm air blasting out of the defroster.
Because here’s a shared human experience:
You get in your car on a winter morning, fire it up, hit the wipers…
SCHKKKKKRRRRK.
Nothing.
Frozen.
Locked in ice like a prehistoric mosquito.
So you sit there, shivering, rubbing your hands together like you’re about to cast a spell, waiting for the air to warm up the glass and do its magic.
But the heat only reaches almost far enough.
Almost.
It shoots right above the wiper line—the exact area where the ice is holding your wipers hostage.
A cosmic joke.
A design flaw.
A test from the universe to see if you’re a patient man or a windshield-scraper berserker.
And every winter I’m sitting there thinking:
We’ve put men on the moon.
We’ve built computers that fit in our pockets.
We’ve created AI that can help us write blog posts about windshield wipers. 🤣
But we can’t give these wipers a little boost?
A two-inch promotion?
A raise in rank?
Is there a secret engineering reason? Aerodynamics? Manufacturing standards? Some ancient auto-industry tradition no one questions anymore?
Or is it one of those things everyone just accepts even though it makes zero sense—like neckties, or the fact that grocery carts always have one wheel possessed by demons?
All I know is this:
Every winter morning is a reminder that sometimes the world is built almost right…
And sometimes you have to ask the question nobody else is asking.
Raise the wipers. Raise the standards. Raise everything.
Even two inches can change your entire view.